Ramblings of a Newbie

I’m a fat chick. It says so in my bio, I make no bones about it. I’m a big girl. I’m pretty okay with that most of the time, to be perfectly honest. I’m still attractive, I’m still healthy. However…

I’ve still made the decision to lose weight. I’m not doing this for vanity, mind you, I’m doing it for health. It’s pretty okay to be a big girl in the BDSM community.  There’s often more of an appreciation for people of all sizes, which I dig…but for future health, I have to make changes. I started seeing a doctor that had been my mother’s doctor, and he really laid down the bottom line. My mother had many weight-related issues and I really don’t want to end up the way she was toward the end of her life. Therefore…try to lose the weight now while I can.

Now, I know you’re asking yourself:  what does that have to do with this blog?

The answer is simple: Losing weight gives me energy. Increased energy kickstarts my libido higher than it normally is, and it’s pretty damn high to begin with. CK got a taste of that yesterday and I’ve warned him it’s just gonna keep rising. Higher libido means more fodder for posts, and more energy means more posting in general.

No worries, now: this isn’t gonna turn into a weight-loss blog; I have another outlet for that kind of Rambling. I just wanted to prepare all y’all for an increase in posts and let you know I’m still around.

I missed you guys. More later.

I have a confession to make. I’m bad with numbers, especially dimensions. If you tell me how big something is, give me a point of reference or I’m totally off.

The cool people over at Tabu Toys gave me the opportunity to pick one of their sex toys to review, and as I browsed I saw the Nexus GyroXtreme. It looked really cool design-wise, and I’ve used a Nexus toy before (granted, I used it on someone else…the Neo, on my friend NM). I’d been looking for a mid-range anal toy along these lines, and this one can be used both anally and vaginally, so I figured it was a bonus.

I looked at the dimensions: 6″ by 1.7″ in diameter. Even though the description says quite specifically “Not for the faint-hearted”, I thought it didn’t sound too terribly large. Therefore, I requested it. I got it and gleefully opened it up…and stared. It’s big. For a vaginal toy, it’s not monstrous…but for an anal toy it’s really a challenge for me.

The teabag from the last review is included for scale. The length is solidly average, but the girth is impressive. There is one use I discovered that wasn’t listed in the description:

It’s totally a weapon. You could seriously whack somebody on the noggin with this dude. It’s solid heavy silicone and could cause a big ol concussion! Yeah!

It’s silicone, which all of you guys know I love. It’s sterilizable and shareable, and it’s (like a Slinky) fun for a girl and a boy.  Remember, no silicone lube with silicone toys. Waterbased lube is perfect. Make sure to sterilize before going from anal play to vaginal, or slap a condom on that puppy before it meets your butt.

The shaft is thick, with a sizeable bulge close to the tip. The tip itself is tilted slightly so as to stimulate your g-spot, p-spot, or whatever spot you got.  The base is really unique and is basically a half-sphere from which the dildo emerges.  The cool part about this is that once it’s inserted and seated snugly in your favorite orifice, you can sit up on it (or back it up against a wall, or have your partner take it firmly in hand) and gyrate your hips. This makes that bulge and the defined tip press against happy places inside you…

I used this vaginally with great success. It’s an extremely filling sensation, which I quite enjoy. This plus the Hitachi was incredibly intense; the head of the vibrator was able to press against both my clit and the base of the GyroXtreme.  I have to admit that I’ve so far failed to take the whole thing anally. Once I can get past that bulge, I’ll be all good, but so far I haven’t succeeded. I’m gonna have to work up to it. Mark my words: I will do it. Oh yes, I will. When I do, I’ll do a followup post.

Thanks again, Tabu Toys!

(Note for disclosure purposes: This product was provided free of charge for review purposes by Tabu Toys. I promise you that free product does not in any way ensure a good review; I have given products negative reviews in the past and will do so in the future if the product warrants it. )

The awesome folks at Tabutoys.com gave me the opportunity to try out the Evolved Slender Marvel for you guys.

This cool toy came in an extremely attractive tin, something Evolved is known for. They can be used to store the toy if you like, or you can remove the inserts and keep all kinds of stuff in ‘em…this one is gonna be used for condoms and lube packets so I don’t have to dig around for ‘em in the heat of the moment.

It’s made of TPE, which is a phthalate-free material. It stands for ThermoPlastic Elastomer, and it’s a happy, body-safe thing. It’s porous, mind you, unlike silicone. This isn’t gonna be a sharing kind of toy unless you slap a condom on it. In other words, not sterilizable; don’t boil it, dishwasher it, or bleach it.

I like the Marvel for a number of reasons, actually. First, it’s extremely attractive. I love the purple color (not lavender; a real purple), and I love the soft curves that make up the design.

I’m pleased with the fact that they didn’t try to make the clitoral stimulator into the shape of some animal or another as the rabbit-style vibes are wont to do.  It’s a simple design, and I dig that.

Next, it’s waterproof! Yay! Waterproof toys are a wonder. Shower, bath, pool, squirting, whatever, it’s all good (actually, as to the pool thing: not sure about pool chemicals and elastomer. Anybody?).

And finally, the vibrator part of the toy. It’s got three vibration speeds, all controlled by a push-button on the base of the toy. Your hand’s likely to be right there anyway, so it makes it seriously easy to deal with; no turning, twisting or sliding, just click and go.

The vibrations range from subtle and mild to pretty impressive. The cool part is, there’s an egg in the clitoral stimulator part of it and an egg in the shaft. Instead of the egg in the shaft being all the way at the base, it’s at the very tip, so the sensation is very spread out.

Pardon the dust! It's TPE.

This is a great toy for thrusting because of the slender smooth shaft. It’s not huge, which works quite well for me. The internal vibrations are actually really pleasant, and I normally am not a huge fan of internal vibes. When I’m done playing and it’s come down to business, slipping this toy in fully so the thumb-shaped stimulator is nestled lovingly against my clit is the key. Once it’s pressed in as far as it will go, gently rotating it just a touch will absolutely do the trick and get me off in no time.

Cleanup is quick and easy with some sort of antibacterial cloth, soap, or toy cleaner; be aware that TPE, like silicone, will collect dust, so store it accordingly.

The only thing I think I’d change is actually something I wouldn’t change. I know that sounds strange, so let me explain my contradictory self. The two vibrating eggs are controlled by the same controller, and they vibrate at the same rate. My clit can handle far stronger vibrations than my pussy can, so it’d be nice if the two eggs could be controlled separately…

The problem with that idea is that it would kill one of my favorite pluses about this product: The simplicity of design. The one-button quick-clicking control is great! When you add a second control, the design would be less streamlined and less pleasant.  Basically, while it would be nice to have two different possibilities for speeds, it’s not worth risking the loss of the current design.

So yeah. Definitely recommended. Thanks, Tabutoys!

So the nice people at Sextoy.com sent me this awesome little Impressions paddle to tell you about. It’s made by a company called Sportsheets which I already love dearly for their Underbed Restraint System, so I had high hopes. I wasn’t disappointed.

It’s a smallish thing, which is pretty darn okay. It could easily sit anonymously in the bottom of a large purse and never be noticed. The design is simple: nicely sized handle, wide enough to be comfortable to the hand, in stitched leather over something stiff (plastic or wood, likely. Too light to be metal, I think?). There’s a grommet with a braided nylon wrist-strap. If you don’t like the nylon, switch it out for leather. It’ll work just as well.

The teabag is there for scale. Also because I simply wanted to work the word ‘teabag’ into a post.

The usable portion of the paddle (the ‘weapon’ part) is about five inches long and two and a quarter inches wide. You’ll notice from the picture that the word ‘OUCH’ is backwards. There’s a reason for that, don’t you worry. It’s a two-layered slapper-style paddle, as you can see from the next picture; this gives it a tendency to make a great noise even if your swats are somewhat sub-par. It’s flexible, but stiff enough to really pack a whallop if used properly.

As you can also see from the pic, the word ‘OUCH’ is a cutout. What that means to you is this:

That’s right. If done right, you get the word ‘OUCH’ in lovely lettering on your vic-…er, playmate’s body. It’s too much fun, especially in a group setting. Everybody wants to try their hand at getting the word to come up just a little clearer, there’s discussions about whose skin is pale enough to make the better background…it’s a lot of fun.

My only complaint about this toy is a small nitpicky one. When you look at the paddle itself, the ‘OUCH’ is in red. This is due to a piece of red paper between the layers. Good concept…but the fact that it’s paper kinda bugs me. A thin strip of suede between the layers or even lining the back layer in red leather would have been a little more finished-looking to me. The paper does just fine, but if it gets stained or torn, it’s done, and you’re looking at the roughly sueded back layer. It’s an aesthetic thing only, guys…I’m willing to overlook it, personally.

Overall, this is a really sturdy, well-stitched fun toy. I dig it quite a bit, as does CK (as long as he’s not on the receiving end). There’s other words as well, but this one just made me giggle.

Remember, kids, OUCH is not a safeword!

Sex toys provided by SexToy.com. Check out our excellent selection of bondage and bdsm products online. Butt provided by CK.

(Note for disclosure purposes: This product was provided free of charge for review purposes by Sextoy.com. I promise you that free product does not in any way ensure a good review; I have given products negative reviews in the past and will do so in the future if the product warrants it. )

I haven’t done an HNT in quite a while and I just kinda felt like putting one out there today, so here we go:

I’m not a girly girl by any means. I still self-identify as female; I just am not your stereotypical female. I’ll occasionally fuss with my hair, generally only to dye it. My friend the hairstylist has to remind me to cut it, and convince me not to do it myself with whatever scissors are lying around. My nails I grow long simply because I like scratching. *grin* They get trimmed and shaped so they don’t snag things, but I rarely paint ‘em.

It’s the same kind of situation with clothing. I normally simply don’t bother wearing girly things. I don’t find them comfortable and I’m not convinced they suit me. Now, there are exceptions. I have a black velvet corset-style top that I think is quite flattering, and I also have an off-the-rack lingerie corset (not a real lace-up job) that gets good reviews. Most of the rest of my clothing is relatively unisex.

I’ve started getting a little more experimental in the dress-up department, however…window-shopping for corsets and lingerie, finding outfits that might be fun and sexy in the bedroom. Recently I ordered a plaid schoolgirl skirt because CK mentioned he liked the look (I think most hetero males do to some degree, to be honest). It came with a red halter-style bikini top (laughable, considering the size of my breasts), a black off-shoulder see-through half-top, the skirt, and fishnet knee-highs. I’ll be putting a white blouse over the ensemble, and I picked up white cotton underwear to complete the look.

I haven’t worn it for him yet for the simple reason that we haven’t had a good deal of time to play…and I’m definitely hoping for a good reaction from it. He wanted me to try it on for him when I got it, but I refused. I’m just mean like that.

So just to kind of give a little preview of one part of the outfit, here’s my HNT for this week:

Happy HNT, all!

Well, this was unexpected, but I consider it high praise.

The list isn’t all-inclusive; there are bloggers not on the list that I would have put in the top ten (Curvaceous Dee being one example). As with last year, there’s a great selection of blogs I’m not familiar with and will be checking out.

Rori (owner of the blog and editor of the list) encourages the sharing of links to non-included blogs in the comments. Go to the original blog entry and check out a new blog or two.

The following post is copied from the original entry. Click on the title to see it on its home blog.

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009

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