Ramblings of a Newbie

This is a list of the people I mention by pseudonym in this blog.

As statuses change, I’ll change this listing.

On the the Dramatis Personae!

WS
(originally posted 7-16-08)
My first introduction: Almost five years ago I and several of my friends were all very active in a text-based computer game (yes, I’m a MUDder). We ended up meeting many of our fellow players in real life, including several in the same state where I live. One of them was much younger than the majority of the group I hung out with, but he held his own well. When I say much younger, I mean he was barely eighteen at the time, and we were in our late twenties and early thirties.

This young man (I’ll call him WS for the sake of anonymity) asked me out on a date. I liked him as a friend, and thought he’d be a fun bed-partner, but didn’t want to ‘date’ him. He took it well, and went on to have a relationship with a girl close to his own age for a little over a year. After they broke up and right before his next visit (he visited us relatively often) he asked me out again. I said that I wasn’t in a dating mindset at that point and asked for his opinions on casual sex. 20 year old guy, 33 year old woman? Not surprisingly, he thought that was a dandy idea.

Since then, I’ve shared some good quality fun times with this boy every few months when he can make time from his work to visit. He’s mostly vanilla but is willing to try new things; I’m not sure how he’s going to deal with my new desire to ‘kick things up a notch’, as it were. We’ll see.

Update: I’m not sure if this connection even really exists anymore. It’s been many months since I’ve seen him (he claims that he’s been working too much) and it’s been weeks since we’ve communicated otherwise. We’ve always had a clear understanding that the relationship we had was casual and open, but he seemed to start backing away when I let him know that I was getting a full STD panel done in anticipation of possibly becoming intimate with someone else. He said he was fine with it, but there’s been sporadic and limited contact since then. When he does contact me, he tells me how much he misses me and can’t wait to see me again, so I’m a little confused…can any males out there interpret this behavior?

CK
(originally posted 7-16-08)
About two years ago give or take, another couple of friends of mine and I gathered some random players together to start a tabletop RP gaming group. We had some fun people respond, but only one stuck around. The one that stuck around was young, hot, and kinky.

We’ve been casual friends and gaming buddies for a while; in the past few months, things changed and we ended up getting closer. Neither one of us actually wanted to date the other (I’m still not in a dating mindset; I’m very much in a selfish frame of mind right now), but something more casual and relaxed? That works.

Since then there’s been a lot of making out and snuggling, which has been a lot of fun. There’s also been a lot of biting and scratching, which has been a whole different kind of fun. The biting and scratching started out on my end (in fact, I called him my ‘chewtoy’ for a while *grin*), because he responds to being clawed and bitten on his back like most people respond to a gentle massage. Then he turned the tables on me; one day we were snuggled up and relaxing, and he raked his nails (hard!!) over my back while I was in mid-sentence. I stuttered and ended up finishing “…I was saying something…with words…” and couldn’t think for a second or two. The sensation was amazingly pleasant, and the boy took note of my reaction for future use. *snicker*

The boy also bites like a freaking pit bull; I’m generally left with lots of bruises on my back, shoulders, and arms when he’s been visiting. The last time he was here, in fact, he bit me twice on the delicate skin of my inner upper arm. The bites weren’t too much harder than normal, but the bruises are _huge_ and look like I’ve been punched.

Update (10-25-08): since this first post about CK, we’ve gotten closer and played more; actual scenes and such. There’s a level of trust that’s developed there. We’re very comfortable discussing things we want to try and things we’re nervous about trying (sometimes they’re one and the same). To clarify, though sometimes our play gets somewhat intimate, we aren’t actually having sex. We’re playmates, we’re not dating. Actual playtime lately has been limited by various and sundry life stresses on both parts, but hopefully soon we’ll be able to take care of that. Right? *pokes CK*

Further update (2-2-09): CK is now dating someone that doesn’t want him playing with others; this came as a bit of a shock to me, because we’d ended up getting closer and closer in the past several months. But you have to do what makes you happy, and if he’s connecting more with his new SO, I’ll back him on it. I’m going to miss that closeness and the particular dynamic we had together, though…I’d gotten very content.

Yet another update (2-20-09): After a set of circumstances that I’m not gonna get into here, CK and the girlfriend are no longer together. We’re working on rebuilding a platform here; repairing hurt feelings and such. We really don’t know what we are, but we’re something. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.

Look, more update (3-10-09): There was a great deal of drama, a lot of pretty intense discussion (I’m not used to talking about my feelings, or even admitting I have them), and a lot of promises made. CK and I have realized that we mean a lot more to each other than we have been admitting over the past year, and neither one of us is willing to lose the other. We’ve decided to take things a step further and actually slap a ‘relationship’ label on ‘us’.

This is…scary for me. But it also feels like something that’s supposed to be happening. I never thought I wanted a relationship, but apparently one snuck up on me. So yeah…relationship. Exclusive relationship, at this point. Playdates are still fine, with some reasonable limits in place. Communication is still key, and we’re still talking out quite a bit of stuff…and there’s still a lot of work to be done. More later…

SC
(originally posted 7-20-08)
A few years ago, I met a woman in a very interesting way (this blog isn’t the place for that story, however. And no, it wasn’t that kind of interesting). We found out we shared a great number of interests and became friends quite quickly. This friend (we’ll call her SC) is a gaming geek like me, is poly, and has also been in the BDSM scene for many years as a dominant. I’ve been learning through osmosis, kind of; just kind of picking things up over the years. Lately, I’ve been asking more pointed questions, and she’s been kindly indulging my curiosity. She’s said she’d give me a ‘topping for dummies’ lesson soon. *grin*

Update: If you’ve caught up on the blog, you’ll see that I’ve progressed quite a bit from this point. I consider SC my mentor, and she’s been an amazing teacher. If I have questions, concerns, or need advice, she’s more than willing to help. She also vets my homemade toys after I’ve made a prototype; she lets me know if they’re going to be safe and effective. She once called one of ‘em a ‘melee weapon’ and dubbed it the ‘CK deterrent’. I altered it as per suggestions so it was safer, though CK was disappointed.

FM
(originally posted 7-20-08)
SC’s SO. We’re gonna call him FM. Another gaming/sci-fi geek to add to the roster! I met him when he started seeing SC, and we’ve been hanging out for a couple of years now. He’s also running our current tabletop game. It’s kind of an interesting situation when your regularly scheduled role-playing game session occasionally gets sidetracked by the showing off of new toys/cuffs/rope or by discussions of a play-party. *grin* It works, though.

Update: Since the original introduction I’ve attended a couple of playparties with FM, and while we haven’t scened, I’ve used him as a rope model. He keeps saying that it’s scary how fast I’m picking up and that I should think about selling the toys I make. He flatters.

DB
(originally posted 10-5-08)
The playparty I went to in August was put on by a group in a city a few hours away from where I live. One of the hot young men that was there (we’ll call him DB) that evening came down to visit SC and FM, and it was decided that there would be an impromptu play night.

There’s a gentleman here in town that has a wonderful dungeon setup in his home, and he graciously allowed us use of it. When we got there, there were three male subs, SC, and me. I was a little apprehensive, because I’d only played in public once before, and I have so far been a bit of a lightweight when topping (publicly or privately). I’ve been mildly worried that I wasn’t cut out for it…

Well, I’m no longer worried. I think I held my own relatively well. *grin* I used some of my own toys and some of SC’s as well, starting with my homemade vampire glove…this seems to be a great starting toy. It sensitized the hell out of DB’s skin, which made everything else ever so much fun. Between SC and myself, DB got topped for about four hours. The boy’s a tank. He got flogged, whipped (I got to use a dragon’s tongue for the first time), scratched, bitten, clamped (the metal clips from the dollar store run got some use), caned, and spanked…and had no complaints.

DB is smart, funny, fun to play with, and understands (runs with it, even!) when I quote Eddie Izzard mid-scene.

NM

I haven’t let a lot of my offline friends have a link to my blog, but I’ve been testing the waters, so to speak. One of the old friends I gave a link to turned out to be a little kinky in his own right, though not actively for a few years.

After a few exchanges over IM about the subject, I was squeeing over a new toy I’d gotten (don’t remember which one) and he said jokingly “If you get a Feeldoe, let me know, I’ll help you review it.”. And we laughed it off.

A little while later, we were talking about strapon harnesses and such, and I mentioned that it’d be fun to get one, but I really didn’t have anyone to help me test it…and he repeated his offer, a little less jokingly. After a little bit of clarification on both our parts, we realized that he was serious about offering and I was serious about accepting. The negotiations then began…

We talked about any possible thing that could have come up about the scene we were planning, overthinking the whole thing quite a bit. I think that’s a good thing in this case; neither one of us wanted to screw up the friendship. We finally decided on a time, and…well, the rest is in the post. We both agreed that we had a blast and that future playdates were a go…so, more later.