Ramblings of a Newbie

So the nice people at Sextoy.com sent me this awesome little Impressions paddle to tell you about. It’s made by a company called Sportsheets which I already love dearly for their Underbed Restraint System, so I had high hopes. I wasn’t disappointed.

It’s a smallish thing, which is pretty darn okay. It could easily sit anonymously in the bottom of a large purse and never be noticed. The design is simple: nicely sized handle, wide enough to be comfortable to the hand, in stitched leather over something stiff (plastic or wood, likely. Too light to be metal, I think?). There’s a grommet with a braided nylon wrist-strap. If you don’t like the nylon, switch it out for leather. It’ll work just as well.

The teabag is there for scale. Also because I simply wanted to work the word ‘teabag’ into a post.

The usable portion of the paddle (the ‘weapon’ part) is about five inches long and two and a quarter inches wide. You’ll notice from the picture that the word ‘OUCH’ is backwards. There’s a reason for that, don’t you worry. It’s a two-layered slapper-style paddle, as you can see from the next picture; this gives it a tendency to make a great noise even if your swats are somewhat sub-par. It’s flexible, but stiff enough to really pack a whallop if used properly.

As you can also see from the pic, the word ‘OUCH’ is a cutout. What that means to you is this:

That’s right. If done right, you get the word ‘OUCH’ in lovely lettering on your vic-…er, playmate’s body. It’s too much fun, especially in a group setting. Everybody wants to try their hand at getting the word to come up just a little clearer, there’s discussions about whose skin is pale enough to make the better background…it’s a lot of fun.

My only complaint about this toy is a small nitpicky one. When you look at the paddle itself, the ‘OUCH’ is in red. This is due to a piece of red paper between the layers. Good concept…but the fact that it’s paper kinda bugs me. A thin strip of suede between the layers or even lining the back layer in red leather would have been a little more finished-looking to me. The paper does just fine, but if it gets stained or torn, it’s done, and you’re looking at the roughly sueded back layer. It’s an aesthetic thing only, guys…I’m willing to overlook it, personally.

Overall, this is a really sturdy, well-stitched fun toy. I dig it quite a bit, as does CK (as long as he’s not on the receiving end). There’s other words as well, but this one just made me giggle.

Remember, kids, OUCH is not a safeword!

Sex toys provided by SexToy.com. Check out our excellent selection of bondage and bdsm products online. Butt provided by CK.

(Note for disclosure purposes: This product was provided free of charge for review purposes by Sextoy.com. I promise you that free product does not in any way ensure a good review; I have given products negative reviews in the past and will do so in the future if the product warrants it. )

Just wanted to wish everyone out there a Happy Whatever Day!

I’m pagan myself, but I have friends that run the gamut of religions and non-religions. I generally say “Merry Christmas” for cultural convenience’s sake, but for friends that I know share different beliefs, I try to be a little more personal.

As this is a blog, and a public forum, that’s a little tough. Because of that I’ll simply say enjoy whatever you happen to be celebrating today, whether it’s actually a holiday for you or simply another day of the year.

And a Christmas video for you all:

The playparty I went to in August was put on by a group in a city a few hours away from where I live. One of the young men that was there (we’ll call him DB) that evening came down to visit SC and FM, and it was decided that there would be an impromptu play night. 

There’s a gentleman here in town that has a wonderful dungeon setup in his home, and he graciously allowed us use of it.  When we got there, there were three male subs, SC, and me.  I was a little apprehensive, because I’d only played in public once before, and I have so far been a bit of a lightweight when topping (publicly or privately). I’ve been mildly worried that I wasn’t cut out for it…

Well, I’m no longer worried. I think I held my own relatively well. *grin* I used some of my own toys and some of SC’s as well, starting with my homemade vampire glove…this seems to be a great starting toy. It sensitized the hell out of DB’s skin, which made everything else ever so much fun.  Between SC and myself, DB got topped for about four hours. The boy’s a tank. He got flogged, whipped (I got to use a dragon’s tongue for the first time), scratched, bitten, clamped (the metal clips from the dollar store run got some use), caned, and spanked…and had no complaints. 

Remember my blog post about the first play party, and how I said I really wanted an evil stick? Well, I got to use one, and I reaaally want one now.  Other toys I saw that I lust after: stocks, a bondage chair with metal shackles, and a paddle with the word ’slut’ written in reverse on the face. Hit somebody just right, and the word imprints itself on the body part whacked. More about that on HNT.

I also got to play with my newfound rope addiction, making cuffs and a body harness for FM, who kept laughing and saying it was scary how fast I was picking things up. CK got there a little later, but wasn’t really in the right headspace to actually play.  I think he still had fun watching for the rest of the evening after we shackled him into the chair.

On a silly note, while DB was shackled and I was beating the hell out of him, I leaned over his shoulder, bit him, and said “Cake or death?”.  He started laughing and responded properly: “Cake, please!”  Me: “Well, we’re out of cake!” Him: “So my choice is ‘or death’?”. You have to love an Eddie Izzard fan, and throughout the evening the references kept coming. *grin*

For your visual pleasure, an ass ravaged by the evil stick (posted with DB’s permission): 

And yeah, the evil stick stings…a lot. More about that on HNT as well.

The night was great fun. Hopefully there’ll be more fun in the future. 

So I drank some wine during the debate, and probably ended up drinking too much. Since I hadn’t put up my HNT so far, I decided to go ahead and go for it.

I have to admit, I had to really screw up my courage for this one. I thought, you know, eventually this is something I was planning on sharing on my blog, and might as well get it out of the way.

This week, even though my entry’s a little late, is a first for me on this blog.

It had to happen eventually: A pussy shot.

You’ll have to forgive me, it’s a little hairy right now.
I’m a bad person. *snicker* HHNT.

This is entirely the fault of the Erotic Bohemian. All blame should be directed her way.

M&Ms: they melt in your mouth, not in your…cleavage?

I’m actually surprised I’m brave enough to post shots like this…I think my shy may be starting to fade here and there.

This will get stuck in your head. It so will.

Pansexuality rap. Way too fun.