You may be of the mindset that safe and BDSM are oxymorons, but in order for a sexual relationship revolving around BDSM to be successful, it has to be safe. What many people fail to realize is that trust is at the core of these types of trysts, and a desire to not harm the partner more than they are willing to go.
To this end, many BDSM couples take advantage of lubes and lubrication to keep pain to a minimum while experimenting with different sexual techniques. For those who think the home pantry or cupboard is a good place to find lube, think again. These can often cause more damage and even infection. Some popular lubes that are not safe include:
- Shortening, like Crisco
- Petroleum jelly or Vaseline
- Cooking oil
- Baby Oil
These are not meant to be used as sexual enhancements, and should all be kept out of the BDSM bedroom. There are lubricants that are designed to enhance sex, and these fall into two categories – Sex shop lubricants and drug store lubricants. Both of these are safe to use, and some are even formulated to enhance the sexual experience.
Drug store lubricants are typically water based and will be easy to wash away after use. There are some that contain ingredients which could lead to a yeast infection with prolonged or frequent use, but a change in diet such as adding yogurt could help in preventing that.
The sex store brands offer more variety and of course can be found with added benefits, such as flavors, compounds to create tingling and others that heat up on contact. These can also be water based, but you will find silicone and oils being used as well. Oils can create quite the mess, and you will have to clean yourself thoroughly afterwards with plenty of soap. Silicone based are very slippery, but may cause allergic reactions in some users.
The best way to find what works best for you as a couple is to first decide what type of experience you are interested in exploring. From there, you can read lube reviews on-line at places like Market of Pleasure to see which brands will cover your desires. After that, it is up to you and some experimentation to pick the exact lube that enhances your BDSM play.
There are a lot of toys and games and equipment that can be used during BDSM, but you must first take care of the necessity in easing any pain. The right lube will do the job, and make all the rest of your BDSM activities that much more enjoyable.